Pretend to be a better person with yoga

Last week I started a yoga class, and whenever I happen to mention this people always seem impressed. They lean forward and say, “Oh? You do yoga?” It’s like one minute I am a regular person drinking coffee at a staff meeting thinking about how good the cookies taste, the next minute I am a being on the road to enlightenment with wisdom to share. I answer, “Yes, I do it every Tuesday.”

It’s also a wonderful excuse for not doing other things. I just love the way it sounds when I say, “I can’t get together that night, I have yoga.” It’s not quite as good as teaching orphans to read, but it’s in that category. I care about my spiritual well-being – is what it says – whereas you, you beer-drinking movie-goer, you just can’t seem to pull yourself away from your monkey pleasures, can you?

Last week the instructor taught us a breathing exercise in which we breath alternately in and out from each nostril. It’s called “alternate nostril breathing.” I’m not saying it doesn’t work, I’m not saying it doesn’t make me more focused, but I just love all the kooky things humans have dreamed up over the thousands of years we have been around to alter our states of consciousness. Maybe when Ashtanga Yoga was invented touching your nostrils in public was considered very cool. It’s just not so much now, is it?


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3 Responses to “Pretend to be a better person with yoga”

  1. fremenalex Says:

    Yoga makes you a better person just like donating those cans of creamed corn and wax beans to the food bank. You know, the ones you bought by accident cuz you thought they were regular beans for dip or normal un-creamed corn.
    Also, the better people that do the yoga do it better with those overpriced mats and foam blocks, as well as those pajama-lookin outfits. Congrats on findin yoga, you’ll love it as much as I do.

  2. mollyschoemann Says:

    Oh good, you actually touch your nostrils when you do that? Before I got to the bottom of your post I tried alternating breathing through them– hands free– and definitely failed.

  3. megan Says:

    As one with a perpetual stuffy nose, I’m not sure I could handle the single-nostrilled breathing technique without passing out…

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