Matrix Reloaded – The Sugar Pea Edition

Do you all remember how much the second Matrix sucked? I do. I remember the sucky feeling very clearly. I can’t honestly say I remember the plot so much, but I do remember it involved a great deal of punching. And here was the main problem with the movie – it was pointless punching. Because at the beginning of the movie we already knew that Neo was all-powerful, and that the agents, while also being powerful, could be destroyed by Neo, if he chose to do so instead of punching them for about two hours straight.

So the movie, sucked, it did, which is sad, because the first one was so great. Now, it so happens I have been doing some thinking on how the movie could have been made not to suck, and I believe I have come up with something. Of course this is all sadly after the fact – I very much doubt that Larry and Andy Wachowski will read this post and remake the movie. I mean, let’s face it, nobody is reading my entries, let alone the Wachowski brothers (they are too busy speed racing and making movies about letters).

But I did promise you when starting this blog that I would be reducing ten percent of the world’s problems, so consider this as an indication of my problem-solving powers. Enough preamble – here is the non-sucky solution:

See, the first Matrix was great because it created a world in which the reality we think we perceive is not really reality at all. It played with the whole idea of what reality is, and we, the audience, really liked that. So, instead of pointless punching, here is what they should have done. The Matrix Reloaded Sugar Pea Edition starts with the Neo/Morpheus gang deciding to upload a virus into the Matrix. The virus will prevent agents from entering the Matrix and allow them to begin the process of deprogramming the people of the Matrix world.

But what happens about 20-25 minutes into the movie (thank you Syd Field of Screenplay), is that the virus doesn’t work as it should. The entire Matrix, with the gang caught in it, becomes destablized, and the characters begin to not know where they are and what is real. They get split up, some get killed, everything loses balance – thus recapturing the good stuff of the first Matrix. Then, at the second turning point of the movie, during which Neo is being subjected to a number of classical Greek mythology tortures (having his liver eaten away by vultures while he is tied to a rock, only to have it regrow the next day to be eaten again) – he wakes up in an insane asylum. The doctors tell him he has been there for five years, ever since his wife and daughter died in a car accident with him at the wheel, something like that. He has been there ranting about the Matrix for years until he was given a medication that apparently brought him out of his psychosis.

And then, of course, the viewer watches as Neo tries to figure out whether he is in the real world or not. Which it turns out (I will give it away) he is not.

There, done. Problem of the sucky Matrix sequel has been solved.


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4 Responses to “Matrix Reloaded – The Sugar Pea Edition”

  1. mollyschoemann Says:

    I would totally dig that version of the Matrix! Can you fix Jurassic Park 2? That one also really suckety-sucked. And again, the first one was so GOOD!

  2. Ronnie Says:

    nice post. I agree, the sequals were no way as good.

    I think the first Matrix was like a journey of self discovery and thats why it was so good. it resonated on two levels, one spiritually and two with special fx that topped it off.

    interestingly enough, I wrote a blog entry on the Matrix from a spiritual perspective…..

    you might like it…

  3. Jones Says:

    I think you are missing the larger picture.

    What if the first matrix created a “reality” (a mental world, a complete “hero archetypal journey”), and the purpose of the second was to destroy that reality (Neo realizes he is not the one). It is very risky move for the Wachowskis, because audiences want their disbelief suspended, to be entertained, not to have think, but very important if the whole idea is that we create our own reality.

    The third one then reconstructs, but only with help from the audience, one must interpret the films, they are not laid bare, the audience must participate, which is the whole point of the message.

    Go back and watch them with the idea that the filmamker’s are playing with you, inspiring you to look at your responses and think beyond your normal movie viewing mind, getting you to think outside of the box.

  4. 3 desserts in 3 minutes with 3 ingredients « The Sugar Pea Express Says:

    […] of the world’s problems? And then I went on and proved that, first by demonstrating how the Matrix sequels could have been made not to suck, and then by suggesting an invention that teaches children how to […]

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