Self diagnostics

I was certain yesterday evening that today was going to be a fantastic day – a day of production, creativity and freedom of movement. And somehow it has not turned into that kind of day. It has turned into the kind of day where all I have managed to do is send an invoice, drink too much coffee and study old ladies with walkers shuffling past the library window. If my brain was a driveway I would hose it down. If it was a rug I would shake it out. If it was a kite I would throw it up into the air behind me and run and run and run.

My brain needs sleep.
My brain needs sugar.
My brain needs a long, fast walk in the desert.
My brain needs this library table to come with a built-in hookah bubbling with apple tobacco.

I will pick up my son from daycare in two hours. There is nothing like a small child to draw your attention away from yourself. Most likely he will not want to come home – his new thing – so he will stand in the corner, or hide under a table, or turn on one of the miniature faucets to wash his hands. His hand washing is all show and no hygiene – a waving of his hands under the flow of water to demonstrate that he is a “big boy.” I like his performance and find it much more convincing than my own, sitting in front of a laptop and watching the clouds.

Tags: big boy, bigboyedness, father and son, hosing down your brain, humor, parenting, personal, The Sugar Pea Express